It was an ordinary Brooklyn fall day, Thursday, Oct. 20, 1994, when Rabbi Yosef “Yossel” Wineberg, left his office at 1310 48th St. to buy some lunch. He walked a block away to Weiss’s luncheonette near the corner of 47th Street and 13th Avenue. The owner, Meir Weiss, a Hungarian Jew, made heimish essen, homestyle Hungarian tasting food, which spoke to the hearts, minds and bellies of many people in Borough Park.

 

The community had a large population of Orthodox chassidic Jews from Hungary. In those days you could still hear two older women speaking Hungarian between themselves as you passed them in the street.

 

Weiss’s was a popular eatery in the community because Meir was friendly, spoke the common language and understood the mentality. Yossel came into the store and waited on line to order his lunch. There were about 10 others on line in this cramped mom and pop shop. 

 

When Yossel got his lunch and was ready to pay Meir, Shlomo Carlebach walked into the eatery. Shlomo turned to Yossel in his usual warm manner, saying, “Friend, how are you?” He also mentioned that he had just come from Manhattan and was on his way to the airport.

 

Shlomo then stretched out his hand to Yossel, greeting him in the traditional Jewish manner with Shalom, peace.

Yossel pulled back his hand and did not give it to Shlomo. He said that he was not his friend. People in the store heard this, became nervous, but remained silent.

 

Shlomo was taken aback and asked Yossel why he did not give him his hand. 

 

Yossel enquired of Shlomo if he really wanted to know the answer.

 

Shlomo thoughtfully stopped for a moment, and then replied that he indeed wished to know.

Yossel retorted, “You make so many ba’alei tshuvah, help so many non-Orthodox Jews become Orthodox, but one ba’al tshuvah you have not made. Why?”

 

Shlomo lifted his eyes, becoming lost in thought. After a minute, he said “You are right.”

 

Yossel then took the opportunity to push his point further. He quoted part of a verse from the Prophet Isaiah, “Ein shalom amar Elokei …” (“There is no peace, says God … ”)

 

Shlomo knew and understood Yossel’s quote well. The last word of the verse, which Yossel did not quote, is “l’rashaim,” to the wicked. 

 

Shlomo’s face turned white and serious. Yossel, by quoting the verse, had effectively said to Shlomo, “I do not want to shake your hand because you are wicked.” Both of them understood Yossel was referring to Shlomo’s weakness when it came to women. For many people, this represented an area where Carlebach had diverted from the halachic standard. 

 

Shlomo asked Yossel what he needed to do for him so that he would extend his hand to him in shalom.

 

Yossel quickly responded that Shlomo needed to do tshuvah, to regret his behaviour, and to accept upon himself to stop doing what he should not be doing.

 

Shlomo thought again for a moment and asked Yossel: If I do tshuvah, will you give your hand?

Yossel said yes.

 

Shlomo then asked how he should do tshuvah.

 

Yossel indicated that it should be done by saying and thinking, right then and there, “I accept upon myself to do tshuvah.”

 

Shlomo became serious once more and then loudly and clearly, in front of everyone in the store, answered, “I accept upon myself.” 

 

Yossel then gave Shlomo his hand.

 

Shlomo took out a business card, wrote his private number on it, and told Yossel, that he was on his way to Toronto, and from there, to Israel. He asked him to call at a later date in order to get together and talk.

Yossel agreed and left the store.

 

That evening, Yossel returned to his office and noticed his answering machine was blinking. He retrieved the message. It was from a person who was also at Weiss’s with Yossel and Shlomo, stating that Shlomo Carlebach had just died.

 

Yossel was shocked beyond belief. The words “Baruch Dayan Ha’emet,” fell from his lips.

 

Adapted from The Real Shlomo, by Rabbi Chaim Dalfin, published by JEP Press, October 2014. For more information, visit www.jewishinfo.org.