We are now in the period called “The Three Weeks,” the traditional time of mourning when we remember the destruction of the Temples and other Jewish catastrophes that have occurred on Tisha b’Av (the ninth day of Av).
It could be hard to relate to disasters that happened 2,000 years ago, but the Talmud makes those events feel very relevant when it explains that the Second Temple was destroyed because of sinat chinam, baseless hatred between Jews. The story is told of a man named Bar-Kamtza, who was mistakenly invited to a feast. When the error was discovered, Bar-Kamtza was humiliated and told to leave. In return, Bar-Kamtza became an informant to the Roman Empire.
We may not be informants, but who hasn’t held a grudge or nursed a slight rather than display kindness and compassion? Beth Huppin remembers her late teacher, Dr. Eliezer Slomovic, as embodying the opposite trait of sinat chinam – ahavat chinam (senseless love). “When novice students like me would come to him embarrassed over how little they knew in comparison with his vast knowledge, he would reassure them. ‘It is true that I know much more than you. But when it comes to what you don’t know, we are equal.’ His humility was extraordinary.”
Huppin suggests that Slomovic “would cry if he saw how Jews are behaving toward each other today. He wouldn’t understand how anybody who calls himself religious could insult another Jew, let alone spit on another Jew… Their Judaism and his Judaism are two totally separate religions.”
You don’t have to leave it to the likes of someone like Slomovic to express simple acts of kindness. A couple of years ago, Akiva Gersh proclaimed Friday, June 7, the eve of the month of Tammuz, as “Yom Ahavat Chinam.” Gersh tells us that when he grew up in America, he “thought the worst of religious Jews and believed all of the negative stereotypes about them that you could imagine. They probably didn’t think so highly of me either.” But in Israel, “we don’t have the option of ignoring each other.”
Gersh says you can start by performing an act of kindness, ideally directed to “someone who comes from a different religious, political or lifestyle perspective than you and show them through your actions that you honour and love them simply because they are your fellow Jew.”
If you have 5-1/2 minutes to spare (or even if you don’t) I strongly recommend that you click on the video below. Someone has taken the time to compile dashboard cam videos of ordinary people doing lovely acts of kindness. Watch as someone jumps out of their car to help an elderly woman cross a road. Or a driver who pulls over to clear snow off the bumper of another vehicle. Or a motorcyclist who slows down to adjust the side view mirror of a car.
Random acts of kindness caught on camera
Posted by Motivationgrid on Sunday, October 19, 2014
The Adat Shalom Reconstructionist Congregation in Bethesda, Md., provides guidelines for three of the central acts of gemilut chesed
• visiting the sick (bikur cholim),
• hospitality (hachnasat orchim) and
• comforting the mourner (nichum avelim.)
“In performing acts of gemilut chesed, we seek to unify our historic communal and individual experiences by enhancing our individual personal development as Jews, as members of the present generation of the Jewish People, and as members of the human family.
Looking for more ideas? Check out the Pinterest page, Act with Loving Kindness- G'milut Chasadim.
Jeff Jacoby does have a problem with the “random” approach. “For what our society needs more of is not random kindness, but sustained and dependable kindness; not senseless acts of beauty, but beautiful behaviour that is deliberately cultivated. Of course, a random kindness is better than no kindness at all. But it is the ethical equivalent of sitting down at the piano to bang out Chopsticks: quick, easy and not very serious.”
Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook, the first Ashkenazi chief rabbi in British Mandate Palestine said: “There is no such thing as ahavat chinam – groundless love. Why groundless? He is a Jew, and I am obligated to respect him. There is only “sinat chinam” – hate without reason. But “ahavat chinam”? Never!”
And here’s Rabbi Shaya Karlinsky’s take. “We shouldn’t shy away from true confrontation and disagreements in pursuit of truth and growth… Different people have different perspectives that need to be presented to the world, and without them, the world will be a less perfect place.”
As Tisha b’Av approaches, I will leave the last word on chesed to the “Rabbi Riddle” website:
Q. You must be 13 to do the mitzvah of tfillin. What must you be to do an act of kindness?
A. Willing!