By amending its policy on interdating among its leaders, the youth arm of the Conservative movement, United Synagogue Youth (USY), has given us yet another example of a Conservative Judaism veering dramatically away from Jewish tradition. 

In the giant centuries-old corpus of Jewish law, there is perhaps no clearer prohibition than that of marrying outside of the Jewish faith. From biblical times through the rabbinic period and in all of the Jewish legal codes, endogamy has been a universally recognized foundational pillar of Judaism. If the purpose of dating is to find a partner suitable for marriage, then the extension of this principle to dating life would seem clear and obvious, and similarly beyond dispute.

Not every Jewish organization or movement chooses to abide by Jewish law, and certainly not every individual. But Conservative Judaism affirms the binding nature of Jewish law over its rabbis and institutions. Though its interpretations sometimes differ from Orthodox legal opinions, the authority of Jewish law is a shared value. Why, then, would USY be apologizing for holding to religious standards, and in fact abandoning a major standard prohibiting its youth leaders from dating non-Jews?

According to the stakeholders, it seems the former language (which upheld the ban) sounded too negative, too exclusive, too judgmental. Many young people were involved in relationships with non-Jews, and others had parents of mixed religious traditions. For them, the absolute clarity of the code of conduct sounded offensive and outdated. It prevented many potential teens from rising to positions of leadership. The language was, therefore, softened and no one should be surprised by the media firestorm that resulted. Indeed, the Jewish world was rightly aghast. The 2013 Pew survey of American Jews proved beyond a doubt that marrying a Jewish spouse is the most important factor for the survival of Jews and of Judaism. USY should be using all of its efforts to advance and promote Jewish friendships, relationships, and even marriages. This is why so many parents encourage their children to get involved in USY in the first place.

We should not dispute the importance of creating welcoming institutions. We have a responsibility in our day to reach out to the growing number of Jews who are disconnected from their community. But the suggestion that Judaism must accommodate and sanction people’s decisions and lifestyles, no matter what they are, is preposterous. We must welcome every sinner, but not any sin. It’s a difficult tension to sustain in the short term. Yet, people ultimately end up losing respect for organizations that sacrifice their own integrity for convenience and appeal.

I am reminded of a classmate of mine at the Jewish Theological Seminary who became a more committed Jew because he respected USY’s leadership standards. He was very involved in USY and wanted badly to serve in leadership positions he was not eligible for because neither he nor his family were observant. He understood the importance of the standards and respected them as fundamentally in consonance with Jewish teaching. He ended up not only changing his Jewish practice, but also influencing his whole family. They all became much more engaged and observant, and he is now one of the leading young rabbis in the Conservative movement. Indeed, high standards can also inspire.

We pray daily in the morning service that God should open our eyes and enlighten us in His Torah. The words are an expression of our humility and a reminder that we are a faith with great and difficult demands. This same prayer’s ending is even more critical. Though we admit our weak understanding, we nonetheless proclaim “we shall never be ashamed, and never afraid, now and forevermore.” This prayer speaks to those who seek to compromise, apologize for and soften Judaism for the sake of popular approval. Perhaps these folks should be reminded to practise what they pray. 

Rabbi Jarrod Grover is spiritual leader of Beth Tikvah Synagogue in Toronto.